Christmas Greetings~!

Sorry about the loooong silence. I was stung by the busy bee and it was quite bad. Then I caught the procrastination bug and the symptoms are still lingering here and there in my system...

You won’t believe this but I had actually typed a blog entry for this month a week ago on my iPad. Erm… Unknowingly, I accidentally deleted the application and all my data in it were also deleted…Oopsy…. -_-“ Thank God I managed to email many of it over to my Gmail account when I updated it to iOS 5 a month back. There were some precious writings in there… haha…

Anyways, it’s the time of the year~! 10 days away to Christmas~!

And of course time of reflection…

I was just wondering what to write about? Maybe I’d start with what I’ve learnt this year.

Oh, in case you are wondering how my 2011 resolution went:

1. Put on weight – FAILED! I had three different people over the week who told me that I lost weight!! Boohoo! But no worries, I consulted a dietician friend; she said I should eat more carbs, so that’s just what I’ll do! And of course exercise my dear~

2. Get cooking – Well, I did cook here and there a bit. Oh, I’ve got a pasta dish which I created myself. =) Ahems~! It is da yummies~!

3. Be nice to people and smile – Why don’t you feedback to me how I’ve been doing? Cools?

Back to reflection, I’ve learnt some basic principles this year. It’s always been there, but learning it in a new way.

1. Share and ask – I learn that if you desire or want something, share about it with someone. Who knows, God uses other people to fulfill that desires and wants.

2. Get angry but don’t sin – Recently I learn that it’s okay to get angry. In fact, it showed so much that it is impossible not to see it. And it helped the other party to make amends. Something the Bible teaches which is so important. “Don’t sin by letting anger control you. Don’t let the sun go down while you are still angry, for anger gives a foothold to the devil.” Ephesians 4:26-27.

So dear friends, it is okay to be angry. But in your anger please do not sin; say or do stupid stuffs like getting into fights, using stupid words, you get what I mean don’t you? Reacting in anger will just get you into loads more of trouble, silly!

3. Seeing God in a new light – “So you should not be like cowering, fearful slaves. You should behave instead like God's very own children, adopted into his family -- calling him "Father, dear Father." Romans 8:15-23.

Reflecting on work, I am still surrounded by people with special needs and this time they are young adults. Every morning when we sit in circle for morning devotions, sometimes I caught myself pausing and still wondering in amazement. God, why did you make them so different?

Many of time, looking at them, (most of the time), I caught myself smiling. They are just such fun people to be with, to do live together and to invest time into. I am glad that there is so much more disability awareness theses days. So many people kinda make themselves little experts of disabilities like autism, even though they met people with autism only one time, they think they know it all… hmmm…..

Anyways, what I meant is, people are more aware now, and it kinda make things easier or maybe society easier to accept them. Recently we’ve got a boy with autism joining us in the children ministry. =) yay~! Would love to see him through life. Hmmm…

Oh, working with the adults with autism, let me introduce you to them one day okie? They are lovely, if not, fun to be with… Erm, they can be quite fun to teased. =P Shhhhh…..

Okays, funs at work aside, on serious note, yea, taken on more scope of work. Am involved in the adults’ work, which means it is life itself!!! Dealing with issues of life, finding job, BGR, self esteem, living skills, independence, etc…. So many heavy stuffs that I really have to depend on God, and sometimes cry to Him.

Before I end, here’s a special shout out to Chareessa~!! ;) Haloo~ Haloo~! =)

Guy O Guy~ Where art thou~~

Mom have been complaining that I'm spending too much time with the girls and my people. "How to find boyfriend~?!" she asked...

Hmmm..... It's not like I don't look around... But where to find such guy leh? -_-"

Looking at the basic requirements, it shouldn't be that hard....
1. He must love God.
2. He must love me.
3. He must love my people.

Added bonus.
He should love nature....

Bukan susah sangat kan?! Hmmm....

Actually not to forget, he also has to be tall, good looking, owns a car, can cook, eat what I cook, bake, run, loves children, enjoys rainbow, swim in waterfall, knows how to plant flowers, buy me flowers, can teach dog do tricks, plays musical instruments, able to sing like Alex Goot, good in craft, able to fix things around the house, can change light bulb, can change fluorescent light, can fix water tap, buy me ice creams, do headstand, do pushups with one finger, able to climb wall, can sweep, can mop, can sew button, can cook Thai food, can make jelly, can change car battery, can change car tyre, built his own house, enjoys stars at night, climbed mount Kinabalu, planning to climb Kilimanjaro, sponsors a world vision child, blood donor, respect women, respect mom and dad, respect elders, able to knit sweaters, do cross stitch, have clean finger nails, short hair, good sense of humor, dresses well, smells good, able to make decisions, good decisions, runs marathon, able to run up the stairs backwards, loves people, not judgmental, wise, clear headed, good sense, mature, can pluck coconut from tree, can climb coconut tree, loves the beach, enjoys stroll or walk in park, read the bible many times through, knows the bible inside out, apply the word of God in daily life, writes journals, writes me stuffs, oh compose me songs~!! hahaha.....

See ain't too hard to find ain't it....

Guy o guy.... Where art thou... ~~

My mommy waiting to meet you!

August

This month would mark my five years of working with people with special needs. Reflecting on it, at where I am today, I am still very much enjoying my work. And I really do love what I do. It bring so much joy and fulfillment, not forgetting the heartaches of challenges and difficulties.

Just a little update, I have moved on to working with young adults with special needs earlier this year. And last month, I was more actively involved in the work. Do I miss the children work?.... Erm, yes, I do, a little here and there. But I also desire to grow into other areas of working in this field of special needs. I now get to work with both age groups; children and young adults. :) and of course, their families.

The young adults that I am working with at the moment.... Are.... A bunch of interesting people. Really...... Interesting..... And that's what keeps me interested, I think.... Hahaha.....

Just a few stories to share.

Mr Adorable is one of my favorite among the lot. He is, as called, adorable. Hahaha. When he first came in, I thought he did not have speech. Later I found out, that he could actually talk! He just needed someone to input words, so that he could repeat, hence learning to talk sensibly instead of just signing (in which it was like a game of charade; where we would need to guess exactly what he was trying to communicate) or babbling. Once, I got him to say "hi!" I was just blown away. Why? Because he spoke it so loud and clear. So there, Mr Adorable, please do learn up on how to talk.

Mr Adorable is a very funny person too. Not because he was trying to be funny, but he was just being who he is. At a few occasions, he reminded me of Mr. Bean. Very cute, erm.... Hilarious antics actually.... Unlike Mr Bean, my lovely Mr Adorable is not obnoxious at all.

Mr Emo Ego is one of my favorite challenging lot. He had caused lots of drama since he came in few months ago, and lots of stakeholders were caught in his tangled web of manipulation. Why he did what he did? Hmm.... We figured that he was just testing how far he could go with his teasing of running away and some I won't mention here. Poor us and mom was repeatedly be fooled by him till we wise up to his tricks.

So there, with a stronger teamwork among us and mom, we had decided that we will not be fooled anymore and Mr Emo Ego will need to learn to be mature and take responsibilities for his own actions. I once had a talk with him, to helped him see the future, and the decisions he makes now will lead to the consequences in future. He is to decide which path he is to choose now. Change for better, or remain where he is and suffer the consequences of his immaturity. I am really hoping and praying the talk, care and counseling will bear good fruits in due time.

One thing to note about Mr Emo Ego, you have to earn his respect and trust before you can speak to him. ;) ahem!

Lastly Mr Big Arms. He is a newbie and it have been a challenging time to just help him. There are just so many issues and past to deal with; really praying for God's grace to heal and minister. On personal note, Mr Big Arms have been on my thoughts a lot; never would I thought I would be somewhat affected by him. So yea, have been praying, and believing for a breakthrough for him.

And, can we some more men in the special needs work?!! Sometimes, it's just easier for a guy to talk to guy.... -_-"

Oh... There are just so many of them that I meet and work with everyday. Each are so unique, interesting and funny and of course there were also annoying, irritating and childish ones. But hey, aren't we all like that too.... sometimes....?

I was just thinking.... Just wondering.... If I had worked in the field of what I have had my degree in...... I would have just missed it.

The experiences, the opportunities. And, may I be bold to say, the 'destiny' or 'calling'....? Hmm......

So, here's to a toast and hooray to the 5 years milestone! \(^o^)/ Hopefully, there are many more years to come.

I Choosed - Bersih 2.0

I went.

And so, I was there.

There have already been numerous accounts of people who wrote and shared their experience of the rally.

9 July 2011 - Bersih 2.0

A historical day indeed.

A day where I could not just watch. It was a day which highlighted, a matured caring Malaysia. And they marched the streets. For good reasons.

I am glad to have been part of the experience.

"The Police's presence were strong everywhere. Seemingly to protect peace and order. Undeniably, they can lie it to the ignorant, but those whose eyes are open and civilized, let's just say they were merely following orders.

We took the LRT to Masjid Jamek. On our way there we saw the empty streets of KL. Void of cars excepts red barricades, and men in uniforms. It was a sight to behold, and also a sight meant to intimidate.

We arrived at the station, hearing chants of the crowds outside. The shutters were down, seemingly to protect the people from the crowd. Little did they know that we wanted to join in the crowd.

Stepping out of the station, you can feel it in the air. The tension, the anxiety.... It wasn't coming from the crowd. Somehow I felt the vibes coming from the men in blue.

Sight of red FRU vehicles, countless of Policemen in lined formation. It looked almost like a national parade where people would have stood in awe seeing it passes by. Instead, when I saw it, I had this thing churning in my stomach that says "NO! I will not be intimidated."

We tried to find our away around to join in the rally. Like a mouse in a maze, we were just lost on the empty streets. We saw groups of people scattered on the streets; like us; wondering where to go. And nope, Google map on iPhone did not helped. (I shouldn't have thrown away my printed map!)

(I should interject at this point, 7Eleven was doing brisk business! Many people bought stuffs like they were going on picnic.)

Giving up, we made our way back to the station again. And then we heard it.... Shots were fired. Expectantly, I was calm. I mean, I would have guessed it would happen. I was prepared to hear shots going off.

As we arrived at the station, there we saw the FRU vehicles, the Police marching onwards. And so, the excitement began.

Little did we know then, we were still at the wrong side of the crowd...... Or maybe was it "right" for some reasons?

As we follow where they were heading, it lead us toward Menara Maybank. And then we saw it.

Just like what I've seen on videos; I am now seeing it LIVE!

Water canon spraying out blue chemicals. Tear gas being launched......

But what's all that?! Where and who? Where were the crowds?

Only much much later when videos and pictures started appearing on the internet, then I saw the magnitude of the crowd. It was a sight to behold.

Yes, we did get a whiff of the tear gas. Its hits the back of the throat, causing some irritation.

Did I tell you I was well prepared for the rally?

Yup! I took out my little towel and covered my nose. And yes, I did bring along a container of salt. (^_^)y

I must put it at this point, that I was irritated by my bro who just can't get his eyes and fingers off Twitter. Sheesshh! What's the whole point of coming to the rally then? Might as well just stay at home and had his eyes glued to the PC.

We made our way up to Menara Maybank just to have a glimpse of what was happening. Couldn't see much as the crowd has dispersed or may have retreated. Tree leaves and people were blocking my view.

After hanging around for a while, we kinda sense that it was time to go. And indeed it was time to go. A video I later viewed showed Policemen running like pack of hungry wolves, hungrily finding defenseless prey to devour.

We started making our way to the stadium. Walking along Chinatown, shops everywhere were closed. Except for some thoughtful vendors who kept their fruits and drinks stall open.

It started to rain, and it was kinda heavy. Friends started reading tweet updates. Reports of the various leaders were caught. And then... So what?

I like this phrase that I saw on one of the FB post.

"Even is you catch a thousand of our leaders, the people are still going to show up". And true enough to what Ambiga herself has said.

It was never about her. It was the people.

As the rain subsided, we walked towards the stadium. There were a small crowd there. Maybe a thousand?

I couldn't believe what I saw. And I thought, "Oh gosh! How cowardly is that?!"

The road leading to the stadium, (without the stadium even in sight!) had been barb-wired. Behind it was a line of Policemen and few metres back were the FRU vehicles, with water canon ready.

Oh gosh.... Why were they hiding behind barb-wire?!

Anyway, with the "high security" of barb-wire, there was no chances of getting anywhere near the stadium. So we just stood there while the crowd chanted.

"Bersih! Bersih! Hidup Bersih!"

We joined in the chants once in a while. The national laureate arrived a while later. He too failed to convinced the authority to allow us assemble peacefully in the stadium. Oh well....

(I've got to let you know, I did a lot of reading on guidelines of what to do and what not to do in a rally. Thanks to all who have kindly put the information in such a creative manner on the internet. One of the main things that I hang on to (besides the Legal Aide numbers) was to be aware of provocateur.)

Just a little rewind, back to the street along Masjid Jamek. I did not see how the man ended up with the Police, but clearly, it looked like he was just asking for trouble. He was wearing a Bersih t-shirt. I am very sure he does know the Police were ever so eager to arrest anybody wearing that. So yea, nobody bothered to intervene for him, just many cameramen clicking away.

This man ("hero") walked away chanting "Pilihanraya Bersih!", "Clean and fair election!"

Back to the stadium, there was no way of getting into it. I must say that I felt safe seeing the volunteers from Bar Council. They have my utmost respect for coming in suits and looking ever so professional. I was told by a friend that they were there as observers. I salute you guys for volunteering your service. That my friend, has showed me that there are Malaysian lawyers who cares.

Seeing that there was no way forward, suddenly someone in the crowd shouted angrily towards the Police. And this is the best part....

The crowd just calmly shushed the guy.

"Shhhh~!!"

How mature is that my friend?!

Oh, you guys really showed me the true spirit of the rally.

Honestly, all we wanted was a peaceful gathering to call for clean and fair election.

And that was what I saw.

People who instigated any violence or disruption was instantly shushed away!! LOL....

And then it was 4pm. That is it guys! We have made our point. And the rally is over. The crowd disperse in a disciplined manner when the time was up.

We walked our way towards KL Sentral. Little did we know the small groups of people became larger and larger and larger.

And soon, it became thousands of people marching down the street! How ironic was that?

And then so we marched. And then so we chanted.

"Bersih! Bersih! Hidup bersih!"

Fellow people who rallied, fellow Malaysians.

Thank you for the experience. That truly was one Malaysia to me."

So I ask myself again. Can I just watch?

No. I can't.

I have to be part of it.

Because I believe in it.

Because I know that it counts.

Do I Just Watch?

When the neighbor rallied for a change in their country, we witnessed the uprising among the people. There was much courage, much unity, each responded with their own personal conviction.

I wondered then, replacing myself in their shoes, what would I do? Do I just watch? Or do I be part of what that makes it count.

Then months later, the world witnessed the uprising of people in the Middle East. People from all walks of life unite themselves in solidarity, with much courage, with much boldness, each responded with their own personal convictions.

I wondered again, replacing myself in their shoes, what would I do? Do I just watch? Or do I be part of what that makes it count?

There are things that puzzled me the past few days...

1. Empty tins makes loud clanging sounds. It sounds so impressive but honestly dude, empty tins are empty. There is no substance inside.

2. Dreadful silence or maybe inaction, makes me wonder... What ever happened to all those things that we supposedly stand for? Or should I say cheered triumphantly when times were peaceful... Is the cheer still ringing now?

3. Now that it is needed, is it okay to go beyond our four walls of comfort? Beyond our boundaries of what is 'safe'? Despite the disgusting intimidation that is going on, would we be a part of what that makes it count?

Self check: What is my personal conviction?

My mom once said, when I believe in something that is right; I am quite set on it. And it is really (Really) quite hard to change my mind on it.

On personal note, I know that to be true. And honestly, believing in something that is right, should also equate to doing what is right.

So, in the coming days, let's be mature. Let's not judge one or the other because of what is or what is not.



It is in support of Clean and Fair Election that I wrote this post. http://bersih.org/

Note: Not a fan of violence, not a fan of 'trend', not a fan of being labeled, not a fan of provocation, not whatever you wanna call it.

Ending this post with this scripture.

Micah 6:8 "He has shown you, O man, what is good, And what does the Lord require of you. But to do justly, to love mercy, and to walk humbly with your God".

So, do I just watch?

Half Baked and Soft Boiled

Of being half baked and soft boiled.

Soft boiled eggs are yummy and I love having it for breakfast! With soya sauce and pepper, toast at the side and good ol' tea. It's lovely~!!

Half baked cakes are yucky... It just simply means that it is not baked enough, and it should have been in the oven longer.

Being called half bake is not nice. Well, at least that's what I've learnt. It means that you are not ready or not done.

Being called soft boiled....? Well, I've never heard of it. :p

Chapter Three!!

Earlier this year, I began to interact more with young adults with learning difficulties at my work place.

As much as I love working with children with special needs, I also like to explore new areas of work and now, it is with these young adults.

Just a brief history, when I first started in this work 5 years ago, working with young adults with special needs is the last thing on my mind. Or should I say, never would I say yes to it! Reason being very simple, I was SCARED of them!!! =O

Some of them are bigger than me, older than me, stronger than me, what if they have behavior problems, and start tantrum like the kids?!! I'd be a goner......

Anyways, yea... Those were my fears. hehehe....

Okays, in the months passed, like what I've written earlier, I began more frequent interaction with them. Learning the way they communicate, learning to listen to them, learning to see their strength, learning to help overcome their weakness. Do you know when you give time and chance to learn something, you will slowly start loving it?

So there, just a little update, Chapter Three has begun at work~!

I'm moving into working with young adults, while still being involved in children work. What this new task entails, in short summary, is to help these young adults gain employment and to support them at work. This new work for me is kinda exciting and cool~! Not to mention, it can also get really dreaded boring at times.

Just to share what has happened in the recent days. My colleague and I had the opportunity to bring a team of our trainees (young adults) out to job placement training. I must say and congratulate this team. Some shined beyond our expectation and I am just so proud at what they could achieve, especially when given the opportunity and the support needed.

Through this experience, I just want to say, lets move beyond "Charity Mindset". We don't need the charity of employers or for them take our trainees as charity work. We are not asking for handouts.

Lets embrace us "Rights Based Mindset" can we? Are you able to see the economic potential of our trainees? Given the opportunity and support, I must say they are as valuable as any person that you invest your money and time into.

Here's a true story for you.